I don’t need Jordan Peterson nor Deepak Chopra to tell me how to live my life, but I can semi-dig where they’re coming from. Living is an art and sometimes you need a guru to point you toward Mecca or Nirvana or Mount Olympus or Camel Grill. I’ve had my share of gurus in the art of living (Anthony Bourdain, Montaigne, Miles Davis, Clive James, eg.) but by now I’ve attained perfect mastery myself, so I’m passing along a few tips for your consideration.

N.B., (1) This is a working tool. (2) All wisdom is acquired wisdom (and the majority of wit is secondhand), so I’ve accredited it where it’s someone else’s line. Please believe that if I’ve failed to cite someone, it is done in error and is not an attempt to pass it off as my own. (3) My numbering serves organizational purposes only.

  1. Be a good ancestor.
  2. To dilute the formality of the ritual is to dilute the ritual itself.
  3. Pull the goalie.
  4. Bad things happen when good people do nothing.
  5. Recall Hanlon's razor.
  6. Do not credulously accept the conclusions of Hanlon's razor.
  7. Clearly specify your level of engagement on a project. (Reid Hoffman [1], Benjamin Franklin [2])
  8. Be the best part of another person's day. Don’t just pay people compliments; give them living eulogies. Tell them exactly how great they are, in how many ways. Embarrass them.
  9. Be conservative in what you do, be liberal in what you accept from others. Hold yourself to a higher standard than you hold others to.
  10. Flattery might get you somewhere, but gratitude will get you everywhere. (Glenn O'Brien)
  11. Compete with yourself and root for everybody else (Candice Millard)
  12. Know the element of irreducible rascality in yourself and in your enemies. What irritates us the most in others is probably the trait we most dislike about ourselves. (Alan Watts, Carl Jung [3])
  13. You have a plan. A time-traveler from 2030 appears and tells you your plan failed. Which part of your plan do you think is the one that fails? Fix that part. (LW)
  14. If someone is undergoing group criticism, the tribal part in you will want to join in the fun of righteously destroying them. Resist this. You'll only add ugliness to the world. Besides, they've already learned the lesson they're going to learn and it probably isn't the lesson you want. (LW)
  15. If it is done when 'tis done then t'were best it were done quickly. (Macbeth)